last few days at home.

I'm trying to cherish the last few days in my house. 

Its the house I got married in, and although it is small, it will hold a big place in my heart.

Im still trying to get myself out of whatever I'm in right now.

This whole move thing is not helping...

getting out of a funk

Theres only one way out of a funk, and its not medication or supression. Its self empowerment and self love. Its normal to feel down once in a while -- especially when life gets difficult. I cried all day today. I had to leave work early. I cried on the train. I tried to pretend I had a cold so people wouldn't think I was crying. Sometimes even the strongest of people, the happiest of people go through hard times, and the strongest of people get out of them and become even stronger.

Thats what I'm trying to do now.

I just had a little snack of natural peanut butter on whole wheat bread with a cafe con leche that Spanish Guy made for me. Now I'm blogging, and in a bit I'll go for a short run while really concentrating on my breathing.

Later on tonight I'm going salsa dancing. My soul needs it.

But let me just sit with my fluffy pink robe for a minute more and self reflect...

breath in, breath out

My mind is racing, my throat is tight. Me cuesta dormir por la noche y estoy triste a veces. Hopefully it will pass soon, because this should be a happy time in my life.

lots to say

A lot has been happening, surgeries, wars, apartment hunting, promotions, travels... I hate that I dont have time to blog! UGH! But more soon, DEF!

dis iz all I gotzzta "say"

FABULOUSNESS

Im feeling FABULOUS today! Maybe it was the early morning run, or maybe it was the fresh vegetable juice and lentil soup I made, or maybe my mani, pedi (done by me) whatever it is, Im running with it!

MUCH LOVE TO EVERYONE!

Mendoza, January 14, 2012

Jury Duty

I'm in Jury Duty right now performing my CIVIC DUTY. Its not as bad as I thought it would be. Im in a big modern room, equipped with wifi, I got called in to serve on a case, but wiggled my way out of it because of moral reasons, so now I'm back down here in the general waiting area. The seats are wide and comfortable, so Im okay. Lets see what happens...

Accomplishments in 2011

I wanted to reflect a bit more on 2011.


Its nice to think about positive events that have happened and look back to see what you did correctly, instead of focusing on the negatives (and believe me, I had my fair share this year). As I enter my first week of 2012, I'd like to make a list of all my 2011 accomplishments:

• I RAN THE NYC MARATHON!
• I traveled to Miami THREE times.
• I went to California for the second time in my life.
• I got married. Had a bachelorette party and a bridal shower.
• I got a promotion at work and am making a lot more money.
• I am in the best shape of my life and kept a steady, healthy weight!
• I spent a long weekend in Spain.
• My students created an amazing documentary on foreclosures.
• I made new friends and dropped old ones that didn't make me feel good inside.
• I partied every night in the summer under the stars and met some great people.
• I laughed like I never have before.
• I survived a hurricane and I made it through my mothers second diagnosis of cancer.
• I continued blogging and documenting my life.
• I went boogie boarding!
• I went tubing down a river for a few hours.
• I went kayaking in the East River, NYC!
• I ran six short races.
• I spent a night with an opossum.
• I went on a honeymoon (ooo-la-la)
• I partied with my dad.
• I gained a new step mom and step sister.
• I lived alone.
• I celebrated Easter with friends instead of my family.
• I feel in love with sushi (veggie rolls)

And there you have it, happiness prevailed!

Am I a gypsy?

So I just realized that in the past five years I've had eight different addresses, es decir, I've lived in EIGHT different places! In THREE different countries! Isn't that CRAZY? This CANT be normal! I'm about to move again, so that will be nine. What ever happened to stability? Isn't that what people naturally crave? Why AM I SOOOOO different than everyone else? 

The question now becomes -- AM I A GYPSY? 

Im inspired to write right now, but I have no time.

conformity.

I REFUSE to conform!

I think conformity has been many peoples downfall, but I wont let it be mine.

“make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.” 
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

cuteness & writing.

handsomeness.

sophistication. 

I dont feel like writing too much today on blogger, 

I filled my journal up with nine pages this afternoon... thats enough. 

life simply put

As time goes by, I get happier and happier. My life gets better and better. Of course there are those moments where you just feel like nothing is working out for you, or you had a "bad day", but overall, I spend the majority of my time with lovely people, smiling, laughing, having fun, and doing interesting things.

My whole life I've been on a quest for happiness, maybe because I was so unhappy as a teen. I knew that I never wanted to get to that place in my life again, so I started changing, changing my clothing, changing my body, changing my friends, I changed my house, I went to school, I traveled, I met great people-- young and old, and I started to become curious about the world... asking questions, exploring, learning languages, touching, smelling, appreciating...

I started caring about people and and most importantly, I began caring about myself.

So today, all these years later, with one month to go until my 30th birthday. I have to say that I found happiness--  I am happy with the people and environment around me right now.

But most importantly, I've found happiness within myself. And thats where it's always been.

freedom...

This is how I want to live my life: in the sunshine, freely riding my bike or running by the sea, feeling the mist of the salt water as I pass with not a care in the world. Smiling all the time and being okay with not knowing where the universe will take me.

<3

a love poem

I've been going through a lot recently and I woke up to the most beautiful poem from my husband this morning:


Mi objectivo son tus sentimientos,
uno a uno, de mi a ti,
riendo tristezas,
llorando sonrisas,
mi objetivo eres tu,
y solo tu, para amarte.


I don't normally share these special moments on here, but this one had such an impact on me, that I wanted to make it part of my life documentation.

xo

why?

I still don't understand a lot of things... but thats life.

Today:

It's 9:34pm, I just got back from the gym, and I don't ever want to forget the small blessings in my life, so I want to focus on the things that I am grateful for today:

• That I bumped into one of my good friends while on my afternoon jog
• for my delicious peanut butter/ banana/ vanilla soy milk smoothie from GNC
• The sunshine and clear blue skies that were looking down on me
• My backyard, and that I had some time to relax back there
• My book, "Alchemy of the Heart"
• That my mom came back from her mini vacation
• My friends at the gym and the social connections I've formed there
• my cute silver rings
• that my legs, body and heart got me through a very tough workout
• That I had a laughing fit with one of my students 
• That I learned how to podcast
• The bag of Wise potato chips on my table, SLURP!
• my journal and the happiness and satisfaction I get after writing
• That I woke up at exactly 6:30am for work, even though I didn't have an alarm clock, I have an internal alarm.

I'm blessed to be living this life and want to go through it with love, harmony and faith that everything will be okay. Thats how I want to live and thats how I am and will live.

Peace & Love
xo

developing, spiritually.

My days are getting brighter

my heart is getting stronger

my soul is dancing

the sun is shining and life's possibilities are endless.

Happy Tuesday!

a new life.

‎"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country." 

- Anais Nin (A French/Cuban Author-- and my role model)

Letting go of my dreams, moving on, and reinventing/renewing myself. Lets see what life has to offer me now.

I've been through so many transformations in my 29 years on this earth and I'm sure a few more will happen before my death.

needs:

I just really want someone to hold me, for five to ten minutes, just hold me in their arms, without words.