Private Halloween Party, 2012

The plan this weekend was to go out dancing, but Spanish guy and I decided to take it back and celebrate like we used to do in Spain, a PRIVATE party, just me and him. So we both dressed up and made guacamole, and danced for hours until the early morning. You know you belong with someone when you can just spend hours and hours with that person and thats all you need. xo.

my boo's back

Spanish guy is back in Brooklyn. Today makes one week of him being here. It's definitely an adjustment...

(us going to my HS reunion)

**sigh** Spain Sept 2011

I reunited with my husband after six months. I met him in Malaga for four days, the day after his birthday. We spoke, touched each others faces, kissed, laughed, ate, swam, walked hand in hand, slept, and drank together. It was beautiful that we still had such love and passion for each other despite everything that happened (long-distance relationships-- especially SUCH a long distance are H-A-R-D!) We realized that when you still have such love, respect and compassion for someone after six months apart, that kind of love is special and one of a kind!

And the fairy-tale continues.

My husband will be back soon.

Now about Spain:

It was as fabulous as it always has been! Warm, dry weather, not a cloud in the sky, merry people. It was just lovely. I spent my days in cafe's writing, I visited my former students, and walked around Spanish guys pueblo. I went to the beach and ate all my favorite foods: Berenjena con miel, patatas bravas y con ali oli, bocadillos con queso manchego, aciete y tomate, and of course aceitunitas!

On Saturday night we went to the pueblo que se llama Guaro, they had the Luna Mora, which translates to arabic moon. Every year a select few pueblos shut off all their lights and only use the lights of candles. Various shapes and figures are placed around the town-- lights along windowsills, and in the streets. Arabic food is sold, and music is played through out the streets-- this goes on all night until the sun comes up!

Me, as an American, was like, isn't this a fire hazard?!??, but the Spanish didn't seem to care, so neither did I, I went with it. I had falafel, hummus, arabic tea, sugar cane juice and pipas (haha). It was so special and such a unique experience for me. In my two years living in Spain I didn't get to experience the Luna Mora, so I'm happy I went at that moment!

We went with my in-laws, it was nice to spend quality time with them. All was/is okay...

I'll be in NYC for one more year with Spanish guy (living the life and saving money), then hope to start a Spanish life with my husband in Spain. How lucky we are-- two cultures- two hearts, experiencing both.

HAPPY MENDOZA

my relationship memorial blog

2009: The first picture we ever took together at a Mexican Restaurant in Malaga, Spain. I put my hand in his and he held it, not letting it go for what seemed like forever. I knew from this moment I would be his para siempre. It felt right.

Let me rewind for a bit. We met at work, in an elementary school, I was teaching English and he was teaching Spanish. 

It was like a fairy tale. We took long walks on the beach, went on mini vacations around Spain together, and spent every evening just enjoying each others company:

Then the summer came and it was time for me to go back to NYC for 3 months. It was sad, but Spanish guy came to visit me for two weeks. We did all the touristy stuff:

After a great summer in NYC, it was time for me to return to Spain. This time I had an apartment waiting for me, with Spanish guy. It was his first time living away from his family and it was a HUGE risk for me, living in another country with a guy, I had to have complete trust in him, and I did. We built a home together on calle jinetes de mierda, pero para nosotros no era mierda, era bliss, pure bliss:

I stayed there for 9 months. During that time, we celebrated holidays, spent time with friends, traveled to Barcelona, and Valencia and about 10 other Spanish towns, we did fun and silly things, we were pretty silly when we were around each other, it was amazing.

I wanted to stay in Spain forever, but I didn't get my job contract renewed, and thats when things changed. Spanish guy proposed to me and we were SOOOO happy! We made plans to come to NYC so that he can get to know my family, friends and culture before he married me, and thats what he did. We built a NYC life together:

painted the apartment

went apple picking

we celebrated American holidays together:

We had our engagement party which was one of the best parties that I could have ever imagined!

Then came the big day. We were both so emotional. I couldn't even speak as I was saying my vows and neither could he. I had a huge lump in my throat trying not to cry. I was committing myself to the man of my dreams. I had given myself to someone 100%, I've NEVER done that before, EVER-- WITH ANYONE! and I felt so good and confident with our future:

Then we went on our honeymoon to Miami and Key West, it was so fun, so romantic, everything was perfect,

 this was the last picture we took together:

ten days later he left.

one month later he did the unthinkable while in spain. the trust was broken, and so was my heart.

2011 (today), more than two years since that day I met him in the elementary school, en la sala de professores: i know I will never see him again. 

he doesn't know if he is in love with me.

he doesn't want to be married.

he is not coming back to nyc.

I cant really say that I am getting divorced, because I never really had a marriage. He never gave it a chance, WE never had a chance to make this work. So I have finally accepted it and am making it known that this happy relationship that we shared is officially over.

Who would have known that that day in March, that cold morning when I said goodbye to him... who knew that that would be forever?

This blog is my relationship memorial. I mourn the man that I had in my life since 2009, but not the man he is now. I don't like the man he has become and I'm not sad to leave this new man. 

This blog is a celebration of our relationship and an opportunity to let go. I've accepted the end, but for me its a new beginning.

a kiss.

Sorry, I had to blog about this, because I think it's one of the cutest things in the world! I have a tattoo of my own lips on me, I know, I know, I got it when I was 18, but to be honest I love it, I think it's so great and so symbolic of who I am and what I think of my abilities!
Anyway... I happened to be wearing the same color lipstick as my tattoo yesterday and I kissed Spanish guy and look what appeared, the same as mine!!! HHAHAHHA, am I the only one that thinks this is great? okay, maybe I am.... but it's okay, I'm at home bored waiting for the pizza pie to arrive from TELEPIZZA! yum.

And the winner of the Best Boyfriend in the World goes to...

OK OK OK, I warn all of you reading this, you might get nauseous... now everyone knows Im not one to boast about things, especially not men, but I think this time there is an absolute need to announce that I have the best man in the world. Now I know a lot of people think that they do, but I'm pretty sure that I do, here's why:

After being together for over a year, I decided to move to Spain for a year, so I applied for a job, got it, and here I am. Before I get into the current relationship, lets rewind a bit to the last 14 months...

Here's what he does for me ON A DAILY BASIS and I am not exaggerating:

He gives me a nightly foot rub (both feet, ha)
He cooks dinner for me (vegetarian meals focused on veggies even though he eats meat)
He comes running with me or if he's too tired, he rides the bike with me
He cleans the house and washes the dishes
He picks me up from the gym (its a few miles away from where we live)
Writes me love notes and leaves them for me every morning
Calls me all the time


OK, if you're not convinced so far that he should win the prize, here's a bit more of what he has done for me:

Helps my mom (and family) with whatever she (they) need.
Pays all the bills (yes, I do work full time and make a good salary)
surprises me with dinners out
brings me to the beach at night with wine, cheese and bread
always talks about how great I am with anyone and everyone
Made everyone clap for me when I sang Karaoke because I am his girl
Stole the champagne glasses from the bar we were in on New Years Eve in Quebec City so that we can have them forever
He buys me jewelry
AND he doesn't do drugs (I have to mention this because you can only imagine what I've been through in past relationships...)

OK, so lets get to the current situation:
I'm in Spain and he is in NYC. The first day I got here, he bought a phone card and calls me. He sends me pictures via his iphone so when I wake up every morning I see him. He is constantly in touch, not giving me any reason to think about anything that naturally goes through peoples mind when they have a long distance relationship AND if he cant get in contact with me, he gets worried and thinks something happened to me. ALSO, he sleeps on the couch because he wants every night that he sleeps in the bed to be with me (I don't agree with this , I want my baby to sleep in the bed!)

OK-- Maybe I wont convince everyone with this story, BUT I really believe I am blessed to have Johnny in my life and I will NEVER find anyone better than he is and who will treat me better!! JOHNNY, You are a blessing!!!

PS-- sorry if anyone became sick while reading this, lol.