hibernation.

Ok, so I am officially going into hibernation, not for too long, and not where I don't ever see the sunlight, just for the next few days until I'm forced to come out because of the anniversary of my existence.

I am not in a mentally happy place right now. I warned my BF of the dangers of long distance relationships, "they will eat up at your mind, drive you insane and bring you to the brink of a breaking point in your life" I said, well, not exactly in these words, but with a similar point made. BUT he insisted he could handle it. Boy was he wrong! LOL.

Now I'm here, needing to spend a few days alone. I could very well handle it the way I handled all my other breakups, not giving a shit, traveling around the world (well, I did this and will continue to do it, but, tu sabes.), meeting new people, taking on a new sport, but no, this one needs a bit more reflection and respect then the others.

So I'm snuggled under my covers, ignoring the world, laptop on my knees with 7 pillows of all different materials, sizes and colors behind my back and head: big brown velor, small round cream silk, long maroon cotton, and white cotton pillows.

I need to just wallow in my grief for a bit before I escape and forget it all. All I need is a few days. A few days will get me out of this then I can enjoy my friends company who are traveling around the world to share my special day with me. A few more days is all I need...


hopefully.