it's crazy how the mind works...

I went out for a long run today, about 16 miles, 8 miles out and returned for another 8 miles, at least that was the plan.

I started out strong, in my mind I was thinking, I can do this, without a doubt, I'm super ready for the marathon! TODAY will prove that! before my 7th mile I felt happy, strong and confident, but then I started feeling sick, with pains in my stomach and feeling nauseous. I had to stop in a bathroom and I threw up, unexpectedly. Ugh. I drank some water, left the rest room and continued running, I felt okay at first, then when I reached my 8-mile-mark, I felt sick again, and got sick again. HORRIBLE. I was shaking, couldn't even walk, let alone run back the 8 miles to my house.

I sat on the beach, the sun shining down hard on me, making me feel weaker, it must have been about 75 degrees, more for me cause I've been running. I got up to see if I felt better, I started walking and then ran a bit, PAIN PAIN PAIN started again. I stopped in another bathroom.

I finally realized I wouldn't be able to make the trip home alone. But without any money and without my cell phone, I had no choice. I walked and walked. I had to stop every 5 minutes and sit down. My mouth was dry and my whole body was shaking at this point. I thought about asking someone to call an ambulance, but I thought, nah, I am not THAT bad.

So I continued on in this way for another 30 minutes, but I had only walked one mile; I had another 7 miles to go.

I decided to ask the bus driver if I can get on the bus for free, "estoy malo y no tengo dinero, ¿puedo coger el autobús gratis?" NO he said! I almost started crying and got off the bus and he closed the doors. Two seconds later he opened the doors again, "¿Donde vas?", "el centro" I said. He gave me a head nod and I got on. Phewww...

I got home and couldn't even move, I looked up my symptoms on line: Food Poisoning (I went out for breakfast with a friend this morning, cheese, bread and a cafe con leche, hmm... must have been the dairy)!

I read all about it, what I needed to do to get better quicker, all the foods I needed to eat: bland food, bread, white rice, boiled carrots. THEN I saw the foods to stay away from: COOKIES were on the list. Cookies were on every list that I researched.

Now this is very strange: I hardly EVER eat cookies, only when someone offers me one or two, maybe once every 6 months or something. I don't really like them...

BUT as soon as I found out that I COULDN'T eat them, I started craving them. I tried to brush it off. I cooked rice and carrots with a little extra virgin olive oil and salt for lunch. Later, I had white Italian bread with tomatoes and an orange. BUT I still couldn't get the cookies out of my head!

So, sick and all, already in my PJ's at 4pm, I got dressed, went out and bought a pack of cookies!

I started eating them even before I paid for them. I ate them on the walk home, and I continued to eat them when I arrived home. Now, here I am, I have about 10 cookies left, I must have eaten 20 of them. They are right next to me. I am looking at them as I type.

I have a stomach ache.

I feel worse than I did all day.

It's crazy how the mind works, when you are told you can't eat something immediately your mind becomes fixated on it. All I could think about were those damn cookies and I didn't even LIKE them! I don't like sweets (I'm more of a potato chip and green olive girl, lol).

That's why all those diets don't work. People can't loose weight cause they are told what NOT to eat! No one likes being told what to do!

Anyway, for now, I'll just drink lots of water and continue to eat fruits and unflavored veggies, hopefully by tomorrow I will feel better and attempt my 15 mile run again!

Ugh, what a day and what an eye-opening experience!