Sunday, November 30, 2008

now aint dat some s*&^

I had one of the most amazing/emotional weekends EVER with one of my most cherished friends. When one person decides to leave my life, another comes in. Look at how the world works.

next?


Dear "up there":

Why have you chosen to present me with these obstacles? I have overcome hurdle after hurdle in my life. Some took me longer than others, some were more of a struggle then others, a few broke me down, but I still managed to get back up and soar even higher. I always thought that you didn't give people difficult lives and situations unless you thought they could handle it. I take that as a compliment, thank you.

But now, when I am trying to better myself, I am presented yet again with a challenge. I have gone through this before. There are not many people that can handle my lifestyle on a constant basis. Not many people at all. I happened to find one that I thought could handle me and love me no mater what, I was mistaken. But life is about living and learning, right?

I will prove yet again that I will overcome. I will move on. I will be strong because you are on my side. Always & Forever.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

What I'm thankful for.

On this Thanksgiving day, I'd like to take a moment to reflect on what I'm thankful for. For me, everyday I give thanks for what I have in my life. Today I had lunch with a 65-year-old woman, she invited me to her house and we had a fabulous time eating, drinking and exchanging stories. I am so blessed to make connections with ALL types of people from all over the world. Also, in one hour, my best friend is coming to visit. We will spend the whole weekend together. I am also thankful to have such friends that will literally go to the ends of the world for me!

So today, I am thankful for:

-- Having love & support from friends all over the world. I am thankful to have met great people from many different countries and to always have a friend no matter where I am in the world.
-- My family. My wonderful brothers, we are the best of friends and I appreciate them so much. My mother who is ALWAYS on my side even if I am wrong, she is like my rock. My father is still in my life, I am grateful for him too.
-- To have such amazing opportunities to see things that most people only see pictures of. To experience so many new things at such a young age.
-- To have a job, money and food in such an uncertain time.
-- For whoever is watching over me from up above. I appreciate that so much and am thankful to be so connected.
-- I am thankful to be given the strength to deal with all of life's obstacles in a way that does not hurt me or anyone else (I will explain this in another blog).

I'd be interested in hearing what other people are thankful for.

Hasta pronto.

Monday, November 24, 2008

missing NYC & my NYC loves.


So I am having one of the best times of my life in Malaga, seriously, I feel so blessed to be here and to have met all these great people and to have connected so deeply to my roommates and friends, BUT there is something inside me that is sad that I'm not in NYC. I'm missing so much. I wonder if I will regret it later on. I missed one of my best friends wedding, I missed my friends birthday. My brother is about to graduate to become a fire fighter, his graduation is on the intrepid, I wont be there for that. My mother who I love with all of my heart really needs me now and I am not there. My father never answers his phone, but I would love to see him and hear how he is doing.

Really, is it worth it to have all these new experiences but miss what is continuing to happen in NYC? I don't know, but for now, I'll be here, let's see what happens.

All I can do is send my love, send gifts, make phone calls, send hand written notes, etc. That's all I can do. I'll see them all in June.

Why does everything that is worth something have a catch... I don't know. But I feel so strong & confident for even following through with my move and starting a new life with new people.

I love my NYC family & people, always and forever. xo.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

work work work--NOT!


So, as a language & culture specialist, I can pretty much do whatever I want. OK-- REWIND for a sec, I work for for the Spanish government, they pay me to go into schools and teach kids English by using American art, gym and science. SO, 2 weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to teach the students how to walk on stilts for gym class, which Americans use as part of our circuses, parades, and all the big events-- you know an American culture-ish thing. THE GOV LOVED THE IDEA! So, they went out and bought a pair of stilts for every student. The next week, we went into the playground and off we went. (I had no idea how to walk on them when I thought about this idea, so I first had to learn-- in 20 minutes I was walking in the street with them.) Pretty soon, all the students were walking around, all about 6 feet tall, it was classic and a great success!

next, we'll make a fairytale book in English for Art class. I need book making materials...

I love this job. I couldn't ask for anything better!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

marriage & kids

OK-- is this is a subject that has come up with me over and over again. AND I think I am very unique, as a female, in my views and opinions.

on marriage & kids:
I have been proposed to three times in my life by three different men and each time I said no. It's not that I didn't love them, its just that I didn't feel like I needed to have the state get involved in my personal affairs, PLUS, I couldn't imagine being with these people forever. When I first met my boyfriend, it was two weeks after getting out of a relationship with my ex, who I was with for two years, and I was still in contact with him. So I met Johnny and instantly knew that he was special. We spent every second together and in the first week a lot changed for me. He signed a lease to a beautiful pre-war apartment in Brooklyn with hardwood floors, high ceilings, and original moldings. I was living in my own three bedroom apartment on the Lower East Side of Manhattan with a view of Brooklyn, The Empire State Building and living in the center of all the action, bars, clubs, etc. Nevertheless, I left my LES apartment and moved into this new home back in Brooklyn. Also in the first week of us meeting, he surprised me with something. I was at my friends block party drinking and having a good time, when I see him walking up the block, he pulls down the collar of his shirt and shows me a tattoo of my name right over his heart! I thought he was insane! Who does that? What if he got the spelling wrong, after all, he only knew me for a week. The following week he asked me to marry him. I said yes, it was such an intense relationship, everything about it was different and so engulfing, I didn't want the surprises to ever end. We looked into city hall weddings. THEN I freaked out and said I didn't want to get married anymore! And I haven't changed my mind since. It's just that I don't know ANYONE that is happy married after 30 or 40 years, its like a death trap for your soul!

Similar things have happened to me in passed relationships, my 2nd boyfriend proposed to me, ring and all, down on one knee type of thing, I was like wooo, no way buddy! Not in so many words, but he understood. I broke up with him after that. I was only 19 years old after all, not even old enough to drink at my own wedding! lol. Then my next boyfriend, he was all wrong for me, but we were in love anyway for some reason. He continuously told me throughout the whole two years that he wanted to spend his life with me, get married and have kids. I told him from the get-go how I feel about all that and I think it made him want to do it more, cause he was always afraid of losing me. (Guys are just as insecure as girls) One night I tried to break up with him, and I went to sleep, the next morning, I found that he carved my name into his arm as a sign that I will always be with him, even if we are not together. I thought that was sweet, but a bit crazy. Anyway, we eventually broke up, I had to let him go, he was not the one for me even though I love him to death. My name is still scared in his arm.

So now here I am, about to be 27 years old. And I still have no desire to get married or have kids. I think when you decide to do that, you are making a choice to lose a part of your identity, lose a part of your freedom, and your life will never be the same again. I happen to like my life the way it is now. If I have kids, I wont have the freedom of leaving my house to go have coffee or drinks with my girlfriends, I'll have to dress the baby up and slug it along, or try to find a babysitter and pay for the time I'm out (well, Johnny's mom lives next door and she can stay with the baby, BUT STILL). Plus, I'll always be wondering if the baby is OK. My life will just never be the same again! goshh... I cant imagine how people have kids and get married at such a young age. I bet when they are older they regret it and realize that they missed out on the best time of their single, freedom loving lives, their 20's!

Anyway, this blog is not to say that I'll never get married, I think I've found a great guy that would be a great father. All I'm saying is that marriage is not in my future at the moment, at least not until I'm 32-33. Until then, I'll enjoy traveling, meeting new people, and being gorgeous and free! But if I do report that I'm engaged soon, don't be surprised, I'm a very fickle person!

Cheers to all the mothers and wifes out there. I commend you, I could never do it, nor do I want to!

Friday, November 7, 2008

the great awakener

An exciting 2 years are coming up! Astrology is like my religion!



Saturn Opposite Uranus
November 4, 2008 - July 2010
Turning Things Upside Down

Can you feel that? It's the immense, life-changing force of Saturn moving opposite Uranus -- the Great Awakener. These two powerful planets are about the face off in a rare astrological opposition. This planetary event which will last until 2010, bringing with it an era of great change.

Historically, a Saturn/Uranus opposition happens during times of huge social and political change. The last opposition in the 1960s brought massive protests and even revolution. Saturn represents order and security. Saturn can also symbolize the accepted way of doing things. Meanwhile, Uranus is all about chaos and change, even rebellion.

What does it mean when structure and chaos are at odds? Many astrologers think it's significant that Saturn opposite Uranus happens on Election Day 2008, when the country goes out to the polls to choose the next president. Many view stern Saturn as representing John McCain, since he is conservative and traditional. Meanwhile, they think that revolutionary Uranus is Barack Obama, whose campaign was based heavily on the concept of change.

But what does the Uranus-Saturn opposition mean for you? This is a time for taking a harder look at your life and having your own personal revolution -- break down walls and limitations! With structure and chaos at odds, you might find yourself focusing on what is most crucial in your life. You'll start to see a new vision for the future of who you are and what you want out of life. Understand that these planetary influences can throw you for a loop! But at the same time, the chaos that Uranus brings can be creative and helpful -- Uranus will force you to look at situations in your life that simply aren't working. If they aren't working, there will be chaos and you will have to fix it!

a shooting star

Today, as I was walking home from a friends house, I glanced up and saw a shooting star. I couldn't believe it. Who, in real life, ever gets to see one? I think it was very symbolic. I feel blessed to have experienced it. I made a wish.

up & coming...

Some people call me a free spirit, others call me unstable. To me, I'm an adventurer!

I'm SUPER excited about the next two months, here's my plans:

Next week my best friend in the whole world is moving to Spain! I can't believe that I am going to be living my dream with my BFF!

Also Next week, my friend is having a birthday weekend in the mountains of Sierra Nevada where 15 of us are going to be sharing a lodge in a snowy mountain and go snow boarding and skiing all weekend! I've never been skiing before, and what better place to do it then in the most famous mountains in Europe?!!?

THEN-- It's my loves bday, and I'm sending him a special something (no hints babe). ;)

The first weekend in December I'm going to Granada with a Spanish friend. We are staying in her families house and she is going to show me around this beautiful city! I've been hearing about Granada since the first time I came to Spain, 5 yrs ago!

THEN, lol, Dec 12-15 I'm returning to my second home, Belfast Northern Ireland. I have mixed feeling about this trip. Although I am excited about visiting all my friends and going dancing and drinking in my favorite spots, I have mixed memories here, good & bad. Hopefully this trip will wipe away all the bad feelings and replace them with new ones! I'm starting off my birthday week there (since I didn't get to spend my birthday there 2 yrs ago because I had to go back to NY-- there was a death in the family)

After Belfast, I'll be back in Spain to celebrate on my actual birthday. Im not sure what Im doing yet, but I have friends from the US, France & Ireland coming to spend it with me, not to mention my Spanish friends!

Three days after my bday, my baby is coming and we are spending Christmas cooking and eating at my house, Christmas eve friends are coming over, but I want Christmas to be just for us. Then, we are traveling around Spain, staying in a cottage with a jacuzzi & a private lake for New Years (we want a change from our crazy new years in Quebec last yr-- but knowing us, we'll change our minds and want to party!). THEN we are traveling to Morrocco, Casablanca. We are taking an overnight cruise on a huge ship to get there. We'll stay for 5 days exploring. Then he leaves :( Back to NYC to make that money so we can travel around the Caribbean when I come back for the summer!

In February me and my German friend (& her dog)are taking a road trip in her convertible up to the north of Spain, through France to Berlin in Germany. We'll be driving and stopping in 15 cities, eating sleeping and shopping before we get to Germany where her family lives. Ill say bye to her and take a plane back.

In March I'm going to Athens Greece for three days then taking a small ferry and to go Island hopping. At night, I plan on camping on the beach, instead of paying for a hostel or hotel. I cant wait! I've never camped on a beach before the proper way, with a sleeping bag and all! lol.

So thats all I have planned so far. I'm still booking some trips. I am trying to pack them all in before I head back to good ole NYC in June! Before June I want to go to Portugal to visit my mothers boyfriends family, and I still HAVE to go to Amsterdam, Holland, I just HAVE TO! Anyone want to go with me?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Spanish media covering elections

So I woke up at 7am today to head to work (1am NYC time). In the car, every radio station was covering the American elections. I got to work and all my coworkers were speaking to me about it, some that I've never spoken to before about anything. They were happy to speak to an American about it. I get home at 3pm, put the news on, every channel is covering the election again. The difference between American & Spanish media is that Spanish media is not as serious! the news had a man dressed as as a KKK clan member saying he is voting for Obama, lol (it was a hoax) but that would NEVER happen in the US unless it was SNL!

Anyway, I'm excited to be a part of this historic day and experience the elections from a foreign country. Its interesting to see how much American politics are part of their lives, more so than most Americans I think. It's sad!

The blogs will continue coming!