LIFE

I constantly have a feeling deep within me that I want to do so much. I am always thinking of the next thing to do, only if I am not in the middle of the next thing. I live for the moment and in the moment, but between this, I think towards the future.

I have so many plans for my life. I want to know the world! I want to dance in the rain. I want to read every book ever published (and unpublished). I want to write stories and share them with children. I want to document my life and the time passing. I want to blow balloons and release them from roof tops. I want to get my PhD. I want to run and watch my body transform little by little. I want to wear gigantic flowers in my hair and hot pink nail polish. I want to skip in the street and kiss peoples cheeks.
Oh my gosh!!! I am super motivated!! Life is what you make it!

El dia de Paz

So yesterday was peace day, el dia de paz. I went to work and had an amazing time with my students. I've been working with them all week trying to teach choreography to the music, and teaching them about Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr.

I was so proud of my lil munchkins!

Spain does a great job at teaching tolerance, acceptance and diversity.

"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist"-- Ghandi.

aprendiendo...

Acabo de terminar mi examen final de Español. Creo que he echo bien. ¡Tendré mi nota el lunes que viene para ver si repito el curso o avanzo a el proximo nivel! Vamos a ver.

I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am now free to do as I please when I want instead of studying studying studying! YAY! ¿Quien quiere salir esta noche, VAYA?

To be absolutely honest, I love learning, and reading, especially if it's something I am interested in, like languages, or politics, or sociology, or astrology!

OKAY, learning Spanish ROCKS! ✌

adversary.

Good people of Blogger, I'm back in the groove, still dazed, but back up in it.
One thing is clear though, I do know that I am STRONG, I am powerful and I use any "setback" to slingshot me ahead, WAYYYY ahead! zooooMMMMMMM...
peace for now.
(heart in Haiti)
xo

(through back pic, circa 2007, rising back up from adversary)

Just got another shock, a BIG shock, friend passed away, at only 22 years old.
RIP Archy, my heart aches for you. You were too young. Life's too short. Damn.

friends

WOW, I didn't realize how many friends I had here in Malaga and around the city. Now that the time has come when I need them, EVERY SINGLE PERSON is here for me. I am soooo soooo SOOOOOO happy to know that I am NOT alone! I feel like a brick has been lifted from my heart and chest! pheww...

gracias mis amores, que hubiera hacer sin vosotros?? besitos.

I'm running in life circles!

Holy SHizzit-- Im single again.

I have a problem in relationships... I cant stay in them for a long time. Or maybe that's actually not a problem... I don't know anymore, I'm so confused and in a daze. Once I get too close to someone, I push them away, not intentionally, it just ALWAYS happens that way. I think I'm so SCARED to be with someone and to have someone truly love me that I freak out, then I leave them, then we are sad, then I do it all over again with the next person.
OKAY, I don't want to get too personal on blogger, but, you understand me, no?

I guess practice makes perfect, I thought Spanish guy was perfect, but obviously I was wrong, but that means that ANOTHER ONE will come soon. I have to pull myself together and get over my past before that, because obviously, 25 years later I'm still affected by my childhood. Crazy how the decisions that parents make affect the WHOLE life of the child! geezzz... thanks parents! And I'm not using them as an excuse, but come on!!! Its TRUE!

Well, I would like to go back to New York so I can have the comfort of my family there, I don't want to go through another heartbreak in a foreign country alone, but I think I will... because I feel like this is my home, so I am going to stay home and deal with it! I don't want to make it too public, so I'll only write on here when its really bad... like right now.

I gasp for air, I constantly wipe the sadness streaming down my puffy cheeks, I long for the day that i will be okay, that I will not be scared of love, the day that I will let someone in to love me completely, unconditionally, and someone that will NEVER leave me alone, no matter what. That is the love that I long for and that is the love that I am waiting for but first I have to prepare myself for it.

I need to stop running. Stop running Mendoza!

I PROMISE I wont run from the next one... I won't.

digital communication

Me and my boyfriend speak (write on each others wall) on facebook when we are sitting right next to each other. Is this the form of communication the world has to look forward to in the future, lol. if so... I LOVE IT! hahahahahaaa...

Exercising the body and mind

(Oh god, I shouldn't have eaten those potato chips right before I went running today...)

So I'm up to 23 miles a week in my marathon training. My legs are a bit sore today, but overall I'm SUPER motivated, I LOVE the way my body feels (and looks) as I'm running. I look in the reflection of store windows at times as I'm running by and I see my leg muscles in use, and I think, DAMN I want to CONQUER this marathon, and I'm going to use every last muscle in my body to do it! It helps a lot that I live in a beautiful city, I run by the sea, breath in the salty fresh air, I run up small green hills, I run through the center of the old town, it's a gorgeous run, and I think this is not just great for my body, but also for my soul and DEFINITELY for my mind...

... speaking of mind, running helps me focus. I have an exam next Wednesday, a Spanish language exam, where I'll be tested on my verbal skills, my written skills, my listening skills and grammar. I've been staying home and studying like crazy! I need to pass this exam, IF I PASS, I WILL GET AN INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED DIPLOMA STATING THAT MY LEVEL OF SPANISH IS ADVANCED! For me the hardest part is grammar, I have a hard time remembering the names of all the past tenses, the irregular verbs and their stem changes, I especially have a hard time with the SUPER irregular verb Haber... gee wizz... when I run I think of all of this, I repeat this in my mind and I become more confident in my ability to pass.

I have eight more days to study and three more months until the marathon! I KNOW I'M GOING TO ROCK THEM BOTH LIKE I'VE NEVER ROCKED THEM BEFORE!!!! Vamos a ver...

Family visits Malaga

I'm the saddest girl in the world so I cooked a lot of food. Guacamole, home made pizza, and now chocolate chip cookies. It makes me feel better.

My dad left today-- I brought him to the airport, him and my brotha from anotha motha, I watched them go through the medal detectors and thought, well, here I am again, alone in Malaga with no family... my soul was sad.

BUT we had GREAT times this week. It was my dads first time leaving the country since he came to the USA from Cuba after the Cuban Revolution, so it was a special trip! Plus, my 12-year-old bro came too, he loved it!

Spanish guys family and my family met! I thought it would never happen cause they are an ocean apart, but we all met for lunch in the mountains and everyone LOVED my dad, it was great! It was a HIT!
My father found out that we have cousins that we didn't even know existed, which live in Spain. We were so EXCITED and CURIOUS to meet them, so we drove 6-7 hours to Valencia which is in the North East of the country to meet the Cubans. They came to Spain 8 years ago and have been here ever since. I cant believe I've been living in this country and didn't even know that there were more Mendoza's around! :) Here we are standing under Mendoza STREET/WAY, hahahaha!!! What a koinky dink! (PS what a handsome cousin I have!)
Some pictures of Valencia. To me it resembled Seville, then again, I didn't get to see too much of the city, we were only there for one night.

We also went to Nerja to relax near the beach and explore caves!!! I felt like I was walking on the moon in the cave! It was an awesome time, I was flipping out the whole time I was in there! CRAZY!!


Lets see, what else? We went to Antonio Banderas' Restaurant (he's from Malaga), we went to an old fishing town, El Palo, near Malaga Centro to eat sea food (not me, I'm a veggie), we walked around the city, the beach...

Now daddy is gone and I miss him dearly. It was nice to spend so much time with my dad and brother, it must have been about 10 years since I spent a complete week with them, usually I see them one day here and one day there during the summer only. I realized everything we have in common and how similar we all are, like my lil bro with the camera, he's just like me, loves to snap photos!
I heart them. and I LOVED to share my Spanish life with them. I thought this day would never come. Now it has come and it's passed as well... a part of me went back to NYC with my family.

things change, it happens all the time.

So I´m thinking of coming back to New York City in February instead of June. I don´t want to be in Malaga anymore. There is really nothing here for me at the moment... we´ll see what happens. More soon.

Family visits

My DADDY will be here in a few hours! AND one of my brothers!!! I'm so excited! I've lived out of the United States for three years already and this is the first time that someone in my family is coming to visit me! Oh my gosh, I'm so EXCITED!

Los Reyes Magos/ 3 Kings Day

History of Three Kings:
Three Kings Day is celebrated on January 6^th, twelve days after Christmas. It's seen as the last day of the Christmas season, since there are 12 days of Christmas. The three kings are named Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar and according to an old legend based on the Bible story, the three kings saw a bright star on the night that Jesus Christ was born. They followed the star to Bethlehem and found Jesus Christ there and presented him with gold, frankincense and myrrh.
Spain (and Cuba, and a few others) celebrate this holiday every year.

Last year I missed it because I was in Africa and when I came back I really didn't have any Spanish family to celebrate with. BUT THIS YEAR I DID!

On 3 Kings Eve, there is a parade that goes through the center of town, each float that goes by throws candy and toys to the spectators. Me and a friend of mine were on the sidelines watching, I, unfortunately, didn't get any candy, we were too far back (by choice). Then we went to watch a childrens choir sing outside the cathedral, it was so beautiful and the young voices were so soothing.

So on January 6th all the Spanish families get together and go to a restaurant to eat, I wondered why they go to a restaurant and don't eat at home, I asked Spanish guy and he told me because the people are tired of planning and eating at home after Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, and New Years, so they all go out. I preferred it actually. The problem is you have to make reservations otherwise you cant get into any restaurant. They are all packed with people all day!

We went to a restaurant in Alhaurin de la Grande, in the mountains, we ate mountain food, and the atmosphere was so great, huge place with high ceilings and the bathrooms were outside, separate, very typical in an old place. After that we went to Spanish guys mom's house, had dessert, I played Guitar Hero and broke a record with Spanish guys brother, ha, then we headed back home. What do you guys think, I can't rock it out with a guitar?

It was nice, better than Christmas Eve :-X ooppsss... am I not supposed to say that? IT'S TRUE!

trilingual??

Im applying for a job with the French that will require I move to either mainland France or Martinque in the Caribbean in September. Im so excited and really hope I get it. To live in Europe and learn a new language again next year would be great, or to live on a tropical island and learn a new language would be amazing as well!!

Ok, I have to get back to my application now, wish me luck!

woot woot!!!

pictures I love from New Years Eve 2010

NEW YEARS EVE 2010

So first I´d like to acknowledge what a handsome couple Spanish guy and I were on New Years Eve, or Noche Vieja in Spanish. We took forever to get ready: cook, get dressed, clean... but at the end... TADA everything was great! I wore one of my favorite dresses ever that I bought maybe about 8 years ago. It still fits and its still as stylish as ever (I´d like to think, hahah)!

So off we went to my friends´ house party which had an international theme. There were people there from many different countries. Each person brought a typical dish from their country (I brought baked macaroni and cheese) and shared all their NYE traditions. It was a great idea, because not only was I learning more about Spanish tradition, but about a few others as well.

Americans, in love. xo.

Here is an Austrian tradition on New Years Eve, you melt metal pieces with an Austrian long spoon over a candle and when the pieces are completely melted you toss it into a bowl of cold water and then quickly take it out. Whatever form it created will define your life for the next yer. Mine was in the form of a dragon, which means victory. 2010 WILL BE VICTORIOUS FOR ME! I couldn´t have asked for a better one!!

heading home!

I have to admit, it wasn't the best new years of my life... I don't know why, but I wasn't feeling it too much. After the house party I didn't even want to go out dancing, so we went home and then Spanish guy and I got stuck in the elevator in our building. When we called the emergency number they said the soonest they could get someone to help us would be the next afternoon, we were like NO WAY!!! SO we forced open the door and climbed right out!!! THAT I have to admit was kind of cool, to get stuck in an elevator with your boyfriend on new years eve, haha. But everything else, blahhh... Spanish guy and I are planing to have another new years this week, our very own new years party and we want to do everything that we missed this year. Lets see how that goes.

Next year I definitely know that I don't want to be in Spain again, maybe Germany??