spirtuality

So I have been to many places, know people around the world, I have loved and been heart broken, I've learned new ways of communicating, I have hurt people and I have made people happy.

My whole life has been a spiritual journey. Everything in my life has happened for a reason, every person I have ever met had an impact on my life in some way, whether small or large. Every single decision I have ever made touched me in one way or another and everything I have ever strived for I received, and not because I wanted it but because I believed in it and there were people there along the way to help and support me.

I had the sudden urge at this moment to write this, maybe its because someone will read this and feel encouraged, maybe someone at this moment is feeling sad or depressed? There is always a way out of unhappy situations, just trust in yourself and others.

A few people over the past yr have asked me why I still have photos of people I am no longer in contact with. They find it strange that I keep memories. I simply tell them, if I were to delete the memories in solid form, they will still always be in my mind because these people and these experiences touched me in a way that could never be replaced by anyone or anything. My goal is not to replace anyone, only to make new memories and learn from the past. The same is true today. In the past 2 weeks I have met so many people, each with their own life story. Some of their souls were hurt, others were happy, some were not aware of the way things work in the world, but either way, the conversations we had, the laughs and stories we shared, they places we went were all for a reason. I believe this to be true.

Looking back on my life, I sometimes wonder, why I did something, or why I ever even bothered with someone... I sometimes doubt myself, but its only temporary, I know why I did it, I know why.

I also believe that people are insecure beings. They do things to prevent something else from happening, they stop their BF or GF from talking to someone or seeing someone, or they don't want to leave their job because they are scared they wont find another one. The truth is, things will happen no matter what you do, You cant stop someone from remembering or thinking about someone else, and you cant make yourself happy if you cant take yourself out of an unhappy situation.

It may sound like I'm rambling, but those who are in tune with themselves will understand this, everyone else has some exploring to do, and that's ok, we will all get there in time.

roomies

OK, so I just got back from dinner and drinks with my roommates, its the first time we all went out together! They are SOOO funny and nice, I spent the whole time laughing, OMG, hlarious! THEN I find out they are both LEO's! (I know there are skeptics out there about zodiac signs, but I'm a believer) Leos are my second favorite sign (behind Sagittarius of course). Leos are the most outgoing, cutest, friendliest ppl. I am so lucky to have found these two girls. Its the start of a strong friendship and a great yr together! Ill post pics of us three soon!

Cheers to the fire signs!-- Leo, Sagittarius, Aries.




ONE of the convos we had (en broken espaniol y english):

my roommate: "whats the difference between closed and close?"

Me: "Closed has a d"

my roommate: "a what?"

Me: "a D, like dog."

my roommate: "un perro?"

Me: "si, exacamente"

my roommate: "and what does closed have?"

Me: "a D!"

my roommate:"entonces, what does close have?"

Me: "nothing."

my roommate: "I thought you said it had a D!"

Me: "no, closed has a d, and close has nothing, no D"

my roommate:"but how can it have nothing and a d at the same time?"

ART-- museoPICASSOmalaga

I went to the Picasso Museum in Malaga today. This particular museum has the 3rd largest collection of Picasso paintings in the world. I think it should be the biggest, especially considering that Picasso was born in Malaga! Anyway, I guess it's not the cultural capital of the world like Madrid or Paris. I went in the middle of the day when most people were having lunch or taking a siesta, so not many people where there. it was great to be in an empty museum. Coming from NYC, its rare that you ever get to experience anything cultural, alone, without the company of a million strangers, so it was a perfect experience for me.

There was a temporary exhibit with work by Max Ernest. I hadn't heard about him before today, but he is such an amazing artist and his life story is so interesting! I hope to live a life like him, jet-setting around the world, making new friends, attending international parties and making art. I think I have a good start so far :)

I bought an artists pencil at the gift shop and have been practicing some abstract art so far. It makes me feel good to create something. Oh and bought a bunch of postcards, so for my ppl in NYC, keep one of your beautiful eyes on your mailboxes!



In spiritual and artful solidarity-
C L Mendoza

And the winner of the Best Boyfriend in the World goes to...

OK OK OK, I warn all of you reading this, you might get nauseous... now everyone knows Im not one to boast about things, especially not men, but I think this time there is an absolute need to announce that I have the best man in the world. Now I know a lot of people think that they do, but I'm pretty sure that I do, here's why:

After being together for over a year, I decided to move to Spain for a year, so I applied for a job, got it, and here I am. Before I get into the current relationship, lets rewind a bit to the last 14 months...

Here's what he does for me ON A DAILY BASIS and I am not exaggerating:

He gives me a nightly foot rub (both feet, ha)
He cooks dinner for me (vegetarian meals focused on veggies even though he eats meat)
He comes running with me or if he's too tired, he rides the bike with me
He cleans the house and washes the dishes
He picks me up from the gym (its a few miles away from where we live)
Writes me love notes and leaves them for me every morning
Calls me all the time


OK, if you're not convinced so far that he should win the prize, here's a bit more of what he has done for me:

Helps my mom (and family) with whatever she (they) need.
Pays all the bills (yes, I do work full time and make a good salary)
surprises me with dinners out
brings me to the beach at night with wine, cheese and bread
always talks about how great I am with anyone and everyone
Made everyone clap for me when I sang Karaoke because I am his girl
Stole the champagne glasses from the bar we were in on New Years Eve in Quebec City so that we can have them forever
He buys me jewelry
AND he doesn't do drugs (I have to mention this because you can only imagine what I've been through in past relationships...)

OK, so lets get to the current situation:
I'm in Spain and he is in NYC. The first day I got here, he bought a phone card and calls me. He sends me pictures via his iphone so when I wake up every morning I see him. He is constantly in touch, not giving me any reason to think about anything that naturally goes through peoples mind when they have a long distance relationship AND if he cant get in contact with me, he gets worried and thinks something happened to me. ALSO, he sleeps on the couch because he wants every night that he sleeps in the bed to be with me (I don't agree with this , I want my baby to sleep in the bed!)

OK-- Maybe I wont convince everyone with this story, BUT I really believe I am blessed to have Johnny in my life and I will NEVER find anyone better than he is and who will treat me better!! JOHNNY, You are a blessing!!!

PS-- sorry if anyone became sick while reading this, lol.

arriving in Malaga

So today is my 3rd day in Malaga. Here's an update so far:

I have the two nicest room mates in the world! One is from Venezuela and the other is Spanish. The Venezuelan speaks really good English, but we speak in Spanish most of the time. I made a promise to myself that i will learn Spanish fluently while I am here no matter what it takes.

I live on the foot of a mountain. My bedroom window faces the bottom of the mountain, so I see nothing but trees, hear birds singing all day and have plenty if sunlight coming into my room. its great. There is also a soccer field near by, so I occasionally hear the guys playing soccer, maybe I should join them one day? We have two bathrooms, a modern Kitchen, a flat screen TV and three balconies (we live on the corner piso of the building) It's a gated community, and I didn't know until I got here that it's one of the best places to live in the City.

I live 5 minutes away from the beach (on the Mediterranean Sea), a 2 minute walk into the center of the city and the bus station, and like I said before, on the bottom of a mountain, there is beauty, both organic and man made all around me.

I went running yesterday evening up the mountain (there is a cute but steep trail), when i got to the top, the view was amazing! First of all, there is a ruined castle on the top that is open for free to the public, not many people go up there because its hard to make it to the top, but there were a few couples up there having a picnic or just looking out over the city. On one side of the mountain I can see straight into the Bull fighting arena and a beautiful view of the miles and miles of beaches and sea, on the other side there is a gorgeous view of the WHOLE city and huge snow capped mountains beyond the city. Its absolutely amazing. This is my favorite part of the city (so far). I plan to go up to the top of the mountain as much as possible, to relax, write in my journal, have a picnic or just for exercise and to clear my mind.

Also, one block away, there is a roman theatre. Centuries and Centuries ago, the Romans conquered Malaga, Last year, construction was underway to make a building on this particular site, while they were digging, they discovered the Roman theatre. Since they found it, they left it there and made it into a sort of museum. There is someone there to answer any questions you may have about it. Its so unique and interesting. I walk by it everyday and imagine the Romans using this space so many centuries before I was there, Its weird to think about it. People can also go to the top of the theatre and sit on the top row of seats, pretty cool.

I've been lonely here the last few days, One of my roommates is studying for an exam and the other has been away on business. I've been doing everything alone. I am happy today because I met a girl yesterday and we are going out tonight for some Cervesas. we plan on having a language exchange 3x a week. She speaks good english but wants to practice more and I want to improve my spanish, so it works out.

Tomorrow night me and my roommates are heading out, Thursday is the hottest most poppin night of the week here.

So, these are just some updates and thoughts about things here. i am so happy, but of course I miss everyone at home, especially my family and Johnny.

xo

getting ready to move & saying goodbye.

wow, so I remember 7 months ago, when I knew I was going to move to Spain, i said, geezzz... the day will never come, NOW, it's only 4 days away. CRAZY!

The super crazy thing is that I've been through this before, but saying goodbye to people and not knowing if something will happen to them while I am away is a sad sad thing to have to deal with. People tell me that i should feel used to saying bye, but no, its not something that you ever get used to, EVER.

So, with 4 days left until I leave, I hope that everyone I am leaving behind will be happy, healthy and well for the next year. Please stay in contact and I'm looking forward to sharing all my adventures with you all via blogger!